Cafe Victoria

I did it! I was able to bring together the first Mom’s Night Out between the moms at my son’s day care. There will be about 7 of us meeting for dinner tonight. So looking forward to visiting and sharing new mama tips. Let me tell ya, after working 2 weekends in a row, when 5 o’clock hit yesterday, I was so proud of myself for making that extra effort to plan a mom’s night out with other moms. It give me a sense of balance.  Being a working mom, I’ve got to make sure to pencil in those relaxing, non-work things too! Hey, if I can arrange a whole student activities program, I can arrange some fun nights out too

Since moving from Marin, I’ve realized how much I miss my Mom’s Group at the Parent Center. It was so helpful for me to have a place to go weekly where I could share what has been happening with Sam and learn new things I should be paying attention too. Now, living in Redwood City, and back working full time, finding the Mom’s group..not as easy. So I’ve been thinking of putting out the request to the moms at Sam’s day care. I keep thinking I could sign up to some club around here but I feel like I have more of a connection with the moms who children are going to the same place as me.  I’m trying to decide between starting a email list, then a one night a month get together. There is a parent meeting next week, so I’m going to throw out the idea there. You  know that old saying, “if you don’t schedule it in, it won’t happen”. I will say, having fellow moms on Facebook is a huge help. It’s nice being able to send a question out. I’m just realizing that all my mom’s on Facebook are kind of far away. Sometimes you need that local mom too. I’ll keep you posted how it goes.

I was reading in the October Parent Magaize that now that Sam is reaching 7 months, we should start to hear him say his first word over the next few months. It got me thinking. What could be some words he might say or even what would be some great words to hear him say.
Could say:
“Poopie” ( he hears that alot)
“I know, I know” (As I’m calming him down)
“Yay” (We are extra excited people. Will always be Sam’s first cheerleaders!)

It would be great to hear him say:
“Grateful” (Something our chiropractor mention)
“Love you” (ahh)
“Mommy, Daddy” (Of course)

Will keep you posted on what we hear.

Most Sundays, you can find me reading the local Sunday paper. My favorite part is the Sunday funnies and the travel section. In the travel section of the Marin Journal, there has been stories about the bay area summer scavenger hunt. Today, they listed the winners. The best part of course is the Checklist. As a new mom, I can’t help but think of fun things we can do now with Sam and in the future. This morning at breakfast, I told Matthias that when Sam is older, I want to do a scavenger hunt checklist each week or maybe for the month. So that while we are in the car or at home watching t.v. or even while he is at school, every time Sam sees something from the check list, he can cross it off. Here was the Bay Area 2010 Summer Scavenger Hunt Checklist:

1. Covered bridge
2. Church with visible bell
3. Sign that is intentionally or unintentionally funny
4. Black bear (not from the wild)
5. Lemonade stand
6. Water tower with writing on it
7. Festival celebrating food, vegetable or fruit
8. House that doesn’t have four sides
9. Mime
10. Someone feeding pigeons
11. Ice cream truck
12. Motel named for two people (i.e. Norma Dan Motel, Tenn.)
13. Obscure historical marker
14. Parked car with more than 10 bumper stickers? (Must be parked!)
15. Building painted purple
16. Blank billboard
17. Closed store with “We’ve moved” sign
18. Ferris wheel
19. Rainbow
20. Something unusual not on the list

Traveling overseas? (You can sub out these for any three above; substitutions must be from a location outside of the United States or U.S. territories.)

1. Sign that includes foreign words and name of U.S. state
2. Windmill
3. Outdoor market selling food indigenous to that area

Some days it feels as if I joined the motherhood train a bit later than others. Some days I seem to forget that working in education leaves me seeing the world from “semester” time frames and the outcome being a passing grade or receiving a diploma. Recently, I’ve wanted to get some sort of credit, a grade or even extra credit for being a new mom. I’m coming up on Sam turning 6 months and I have never done so much work in such a short period of time. And I thought a graduate course every 9 weeks was tough. Try teaching Sam to sleep through the night, or balancing nursing while returning to work. I’m really proud of myself but for those of us in education, we are used to getting a grade or some sort of certificate recognizing us for the effort and great work we have done. For motherhood, the “A or B+” will come in ways I have yet to realize. For now, I am going to say the laughs Sam gives me while I am changing him is a sure sign I’m doing a pretty good job as his mom.

As I finished my second week back at work, I found myself wanting to have clear reasons on why I was going to work and not staying home with Sam. I think any working mother could agree, if you have to work or are choosing to work, the best way to handle the separation from your baby is have a really good reason. So, what is mine?  I have some simple reasons: travel money so we can take Sam to Germany next summer and money towards the down payment for our future home so Sam has a back yard to run around in. Those are great reasons, but as summer approaches and life slows down, I need to take this time to develop a clear vision of why I want to be a working mom. I do know something, this week, I loved being able to say “It’s 5:30, got to go”. I think I was even more efficient at work because I knew there was no time at home to do any extra work. And the time I did have with Sam was even more special to me.

Today, Sam turns 3 months and I turn three months of being a new mom. There is an old saying that says, “It takes 3 months to get used to a big change”. Having Sam has been a huge change but also one of those “top 10” significant changes in my life. Becoming a mom and being able to stay home for the last 3 months, has been like “putting life on hold”. Even though I check in at work once in awhile and give some advice, I always seem to return to my new favorite spot: the glider in our living room. There I’m either feeding, rocking Sam to sleep or reading to him. As my maternity leave comes to a close, I can’t help but want Sam to fall asleep in my arms as I rock in the glider.

2 Lessons for New Mom’s (There are many! But here are two that are worth learning)

Lesson 1: JOIN A MOM”S SUPPORT GROUP: I’m coming up on 2 months of being a new mom and I would have to say, the best lesson I’ve learned is finding a mom’s support group. I joined the Thursday 11am, new born to 5 months mom’s group at the Parent Center located at Keller’s Children Store in San Rafael. It has been really great to share what has been going on with Sam, along with getting advice on sleep patterns, nursing and his up-coming shots. Their web site is www.theparentscenter.com.

Lesson 2: GIRL PALS: In the September 2009 issue of Pregnancy, author Sasha Brown Worsham, talks about the 5 Gal Pals every new mom should have. After reading her article, I’ve started to look at my girlfriends in a new whole light. Here is a highlight from the article. Hope it helps you!
Girlfriend 1: The Supportive Fellow Mom, “I’ll watch the kids,” she says with a smile, and you know you will return the favor”
Girlfriend 2: The Fun, Still-Single Girlfriend: She reminds you that sometimes discussing the latest celebrity fashion faux pas is all you need to shake a rut.
Girlfriend 3: The One Who Tell It Like It is: She talks you off the mommy ledge and hands you your bootstraps.
Girlfriend 4: The Motivator: She walks you through losing the baby weight, plans trips to the museum, and reminds you to keep moving even when you want to sleep.
Girlfriend 5: The Mommy Peer: Her child is the same age as yours. Bring cookies to play dates and you’ll be friends for life.

During one of my many prenatal doctor visits, I found this quote in a parenting magazine from Jennifer Weiner, author of “Good in Bed”, and “In Her Shoes”, and mother of a 3 year old. I’ve had it up on my bulletin board in our office. Sam turned 6 weeks on Friday and I have a whole new respect and appreciation for moms and dads of new borns, toddlers, etc. You never really know what it is like until you walk in their shoes.  I’ve come to learn that you can never plan on getting enough sleep or folding that basket of laundry, or taking a long shower. This quote reminded me that it’s okay and that I’m still rocking!
“Mom Power
The most profound lesson of motherhood has been making peace with ‘good enough’. No matter how hard you try, there’s going to be a corner of the house that stays cluttered, a deadline that get missed, laundry that stays in the dryer for days. It took me 35 years and one little girl to finally figure out that I’ll never be perfect-and that, at least for now, is perfectly okay.”–Jennifer Weiner

I’ve decided to start a new category on my blog called “Motherhood”. I envision it as a chance to share things I’m learning along away the way of being a mom. To kick it off, I must share my top 5 “to do” to help me with the “super mom” mentality that comes with being a new mom. I read about it before Sam came but now that I’m in it, I can totally understand how women tackle the super mom complex daily. So to help me, I have my top 5 things I tell myself I only have to do.  And it is okay too if some days I only do 2 out 5, 4 out of 5, etc.
1. Feed Sam, Feed Self (very important, especially with keeping up the energy and milk supply)
2. Sleep when Sam Sleeps
3. 15 minute check in with Matthias (that means talking with no t.v. on, computer, phone, etc.)
4. Clean the kitchen (it is amazing how it makes you feel)
5. Make the bed and/or shower (I read about the making the bed in Real Simple. This woman shared how it was her one thing in the day that gave her a sense of finishing something.)