Cafe Victoria

Today, Sam turns 3 months and I turn three months of being a new mom. There is an old saying that says, “It takes 3 months to get used to a big change”. Having Sam has been a huge change but also one of those “top 10” significant changes in my life. Becoming a mom and being able to stay home for the last 3 months, has been like “putting life on hold”. Even though I check in at work once in awhile and give some advice, I always seem to return to my new favorite spot: the glider in our living room. There I’m either feeding, rocking Sam to sleep or reading to him. As my maternity leave comes to a close, I can’t help but want Sam to fall asleep in my arms as I rock in the glider.

2 Lessons for New Mom’s (There are many! But here are two that are worth learning)

Lesson 1: JOIN A MOM”S SUPPORT GROUP: I’m coming up on 2 months of being a new mom and I would have to say, the best lesson I’ve learned is finding a mom’s support group. I joined the Thursday 11am, new born to 5 months mom’s group at the Parent Center located at Keller’s Children Store in San Rafael. It has been really great to share what has been going on with Sam, along with getting advice on sleep patterns, nursing and his up-coming shots. Their web site is www.theparentscenter.com.

Lesson 2: GIRL PALS: In the September 2009 issue of Pregnancy, author Sasha Brown Worsham, talks about the 5 Gal Pals every new mom should have. After reading her article, I’ve started to look at my girlfriends in a new whole light. Here is a highlight from the article. Hope it helps you!
Girlfriend 1: The Supportive Fellow Mom, “I’ll watch the kids,” she says with a smile, and you know you will return the favor”
Girlfriend 2: The Fun, Still-Single Girlfriend: She reminds you that sometimes discussing the latest celebrity fashion faux pas is all you need to shake a rut.
Girlfriend 3: The One Who Tell It Like It is: She talks you off the mommy ledge and hands you your bootstraps.
Girlfriend 4: The Motivator: She walks you through losing the baby weight, plans trips to the museum, and reminds you to keep moving even when you want to sleep.
Girlfriend 5: The Mommy Peer: Her child is the same age as yours. Bring cookies to play dates and you’ll be friends for life.

During one of my many prenatal doctor visits, I found this quote in a parenting magazine from Jennifer Weiner, author of “Good in Bed”, and “In Her Shoes”, and mother of a 3 year old. I’ve had it up on my bulletin board in our office. Sam turned 6 weeks on Friday and I have a whole new respect and appreciation for moms and dads of new borns, toddlers, etc. You never really know what it is like until you walk in their shoes.  I’ve come to learn that you can never plan on getting enough sleep or folding that basket of laundry, or taking a long shower. This quote reminded me that it’s okay and that I’m still rocking!
“Mom Power
The most profound lesson of motherhood has been making peace with ‘good enough’. No matter how hard you try, there’s going to be a corner of the house that stays cluttered, a deadline that get missed, laundry that stays in the dryer for days. It took me 35 years and one little girl to finally figure out that I’ll never be perfect-and that, at least for now, is perfectly okay.”–Jennifer Weiner

I’ve decided to start a new category on my blog called “Motherhood”. I envision it as a chance to share things I’m learning along away the way of being a mom. To kick it off, I must share my top 5 “to do” to help me with the “super mom” mentality that comes with being a new mom. I read about it before Sam came but now that I’m in it, I can totally understand how women tackle the super mom complex daily. So to help me, I have my top 5 things I tell myself I only have to do.  And it is okay too if some days I only do 2 out 5, 4 out of 5, etc.
1. Feed Sam, Feed Self (very important, especially with keeping up the energy and milk supply)
2. Sleep when Sam Sleeps
3. 15 minute check in with Matthias (that means talking with no t.v. on, computer, phone, etc.)
4. Clean the kitchen (it is amazing how it makes you feel)
5. Make the bed and/or shower (I read about the making the bed in Real Simple. This woman shared how it was her one thing in the day that gave her a sense of finishing something.)