Leaning Into Motherhood-How’s it going you might ask?


Written on Sunday morning, July 28.
Back on March 10th, I wrote an entry about how I have chosen to lean in to motherhood and take a 1 year unpaid maternity leave. The last time I did not have a full time job was 14 years ago in college and even those were part-time. So, for this career women, taking this time away from work was going to be a big change. If you did not get a chance to read that past blog entry here it is: When do you lean in and when do you lean back

So, how am I doing? I’m entering my 9th week of being a mother of twin girls and a 3 1/2 year boy and technically my forth month of maternity leave. I was put on bed rest 6 weeks before the girls were born. It was tough but made it through with the help of Amazon Prime access to all three seasons of Downton Abbey. So, let’s see, as I try to write this, I’ve got one baby crying and another one who loves to keep her eyes open even though they close as soon as you pick her up. Luckily, my husband is playing Harry Potter Lego on the Xbox with my son and now is holding a baby. Thank God we have a swing and pacifiers. Oh, yeah, I am trying to eat some breakfast too.

Regards to leaning into motherhood, I am all in. Just in the last 2 weeks, my mom and I took the girls to their 2 month dr. appointment. Then I took my son to the doctor for a follow up appointment on his arm and now his snoring, and finally to the dentist. I’ve been on my own during the night feedings (it was a blessing to have a night nanny the first 6 weeks). Feeling very Mom!

I will be honest though, in the last 9 weeks I have had 2 possible opportunities to go back to work. One was a new job opportunity I applied for at a college near the city we are looking to buy a house in. The other was a sub for a position at my college that in the end they were unable to make possible. Then this past weekend, one of my close friends emailed me new admin job opportunities at another local college.

So, you might be asking, Can she really take a whole year off? Deep down I know this time with the girls is precious. Even more because there are 2 of them! I’ve already started to feel the challenge of giving each one their own special attention. Plus, I have many years ahead to work. So then why does the leaning in to your career still come up?

Could be a lot of things. We are house hunting in areas where I might have to find a new job because it is what we can afford now with three kids. My husband started a new job and is enjoying the new leadership role he has. We still live near my work so I see it every time I go to pick up my son from preschool. I’m in the first three months of feedings so I am up multiple times in the middle of the night and through out the day which leaves me wondering “when is my next girls night out?” And then the final reason why I think “leaning in to your career” keeps coming up is I’m someone who found a career she enjoys.

For now, I am still on my 1 year maternity and feeling very grateful. The idea of starting the fall semester in 3 weeks and taking care of the girls and Sam would be way too much. Especially, with the lack of sleep. I could do it but not very well and would have a hard time enjoying it. I think as much as I keep leaning into motherhood, there will always be something that reminds me of my career and where I want to be when I’m ready to go back. And that’s okay.

I want to share this important lesson I’ve learned though through all of this. My career, my work is only one part of who I am. Can you imagine if for anyone of us it was the only part? As I hear one baby cry and I grab more Honey Nut Cheerios for Sam, and hold our other girl in my arms, a feeling of peace comes over me. Having a family, being a mom is another awesome part of who I am. Along with my love for blogging, gardening, advising college students, walking to a cafe, and spending time with friends. The key is to lean in to something you love each day.


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